December 22, 2004

This Really Brings Christmas Close to a Person

I was wandering around the Hamilton Place Mall last night, nursing a sour mood while Josiah shopped for Christmas presents. I thought maybe a cookie would cheer me up. So I walked over to one of those cookie stands where the baked goods are plagued with giantism. And there I saw it:

The Worst Christmas Idea Ever.

It was an oversized chocolate chip cookie, one of those monsters the size of a medium pizza. It was piped with neon icing -- red, blue, green, pink -- in the shape of a nativity scene, complete with a squirt of liquorice icing wrapped in swaddling clothes. Below this was a swirling line of text: "Tis the reason for the season."

Indeed, let us all refute the commercialism of the holidays and remember the miracle of the Incarnation... with a big cookie. Barf, the herald angels sing.

****

Unfortunate Event, Number the Second: a hilarious bit of Johnsonian satire. Or satire of Johnson. Whatever.

****

"I've been having trouble staying focused on anything this week," a friend of mine confided this afternoon. "I don't know if it's the holidays or something worse."

Posted by mesh at December 22, 2004 03:50 PM | TrackBack
Comments

maybe they meant it to be ironically ironic, like, looping back around into thoughtful sincerity. Or maybe it was defiantly sincere, in light of an overwhelming burden of unavoidable irony & kitsch? A raised cookie fist inside of and towards the face of consumerism. A chocolate sugary "F YOU! JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!"

probably not though...

Posted by: JosiahQ at December 22, 2004 11:31 AM

Did you get into an argument with Jason Lee about whether or not the cookie stand was part of the food court vs. an autonomous mall eatery?

Posted by: John at December 22, 2004 11:51 AM
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