March 10, 2004
All His Friends Are Dead
A couple hours ago, Ron linked to what may be the finest album cover ever created:
As anyone would be, I was instantly obsessed with discovering who this Freddie Gage was. Clearly, he had created an album whose mere cover could reduce the most hardened stoic to preadolescent giggles. Fortunately, I had some time on my hands, and it didn't take me long to discover the following Fun Facts About Freddie:
1. Freddie Gage is a Baptist evangelist.
2. "All My Friends Are Dead" is not a musical work. It is a sermon, the general gist of which does not appear to be that all of Freddie Gage's friends are actually dead, but instead that all the people who he evangelized to, who did not accept Jesus, indeed became quite dead in only a matter of hours, having committed The Unpardonable Sin.
3. Freddie Gage has released other albums besides "All My Friends Are Dead," including a rather psychadelic 1971 anti-LSD record, "Drugs and Youth," the back of which contains the following praise:
HEAR THE TURNED-ON PREACHER
HE IS OUT OF SIGHT
HE IS ON THE "IN" TO WHAT IS HAPPENING
To all appearences, Freddie Gage's evangelistic technique in the 70s involved talking to high school students about drugs, hippies and hell, the third item being where you would go if you got involved with the other two. He did seem to a have a particular compassion for drugged-out kids, which is kinda cool.
4. Freddie Gage is not a big fan of Calvinists. He is quoted in the BaptistFire newsletter's special report, "Calvinists want to take over your Southern Baptist church," where he says, "In the 21st century, Southern Baptists will have to deal with dead orthodoxy and five-point Calvinism. There is not a nickel's worth of difference between liberalism, five-point Calvinism and dead orthodoxy. They are all enemies of soul-winning." All my friends, it seems, are dead orthodoxy.
5. The best picture of the "All My Friends Are Dead" cover comes from Show and Tell Music, a collection of thrift-store album cover art that, trust me, can distract you for days. It is also where you can find "Crying Demons Crying Demons Crying Demons: Amazing Recordings of Demons Speaking Through People Who Are Posessed by Them." The cover art for this one is fantastic.
Posted by mesh at March 10, 2004 03:34 PM | TrackBackbeautiful beautiful...
Posted by: JosiahQ at March 10, 2004 03:57 PMOh man, Freddie Gage rules. I want that album.
Posted by: scott cunningham at March 10, 2004 06:21 PMHoly crap! Ha ha ha! That "Crying Demons" album cover is awesome!
Posted by: ron at March 11, 2004 10:34 AMWhen I was 15, I attended a "pizza party" thrown by Gage at my friend's Southern Baptist church in Kissimmee, FL. Coerced into attendance by the lure of free pizza, I was then attacked by Freddie's henchman when I attempted to leave the "revival" before it was officially ended. When the henchman Freddie sent after me vowed to kneel and pray until I was saved by Jesus, and I told him then he'd be down there on his knees an awful long time, he put his hands around my neck and strangled me until my friend was able to wrench the guy's hands from my neck, which left bruising and marks. Went to the police as soon as I broke free and the station was empty. No one showed at the station within 2 hours of my attempt to report, so I went home. Never will forget that SOB. But he led me on the true path to atheism, gotta thank him for that.
Posted by: Karen Vincent at July 7, 2004 02:56 PMFreddie Gage sure did a lot for me. In Oct. 1964, I'm one totally washedout street junkie. I call Freddie,who had opened a facility where addicts could kick the habit, desperate for help. Without knowing a thing about me, he replies, "sure, come on over, we've got the sure cure."
Freddie was preaching the same "Jesus" to me that he was preaching the night Karen Vincent "walked out," and I was a total unbeliever. Faith in the PERSON, Jesus of Nazareth, transformed my life completely.
Posted by: Joe Lee Kirkpatrick at October 29, 2004 01:44 AMI just finished reading THE UNDERGROUND PREACHER
Freddie Gage story. I enjoyed reading it. I go into houtzdale State Correctional Institue every teusday evening preaching the same life changing message. Jesus has transformed my life and any who belive can find new life in Christ. The choice is yours completly .
Holy shit!
How fucked up is he?
How fucked up are you?
You are all already dead my friends
Posted by: Toe Sucker at December 1, 2004 05:17 AM16 “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world that He might judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. 18 Anyone who believes in Him is not judged, but anyone who does not believe is already judged, because he has not believed in the name of the One and Only Son of God.
John 3:16-18
16 “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world that He might judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. 18 Anyone who believes in Him is not judged, but anyone who does not believe is already judged, because he has not believed in the name of the One and Only Son of God.
John 3:16-18
Loony christian though he is, Dear old Freddie Gage can't hold a candel in the wacko stakes to Jack Chick, grand high propaganda minister of the Christian right.
Go here for some comedy, Baptist style
http://www.chick.com/default.asp
well, one night I was walking the streets selling my body for money. Freddie came up to me and umm... raped me. Ok thats not true but I must say that on Blinkerfluid.com April 2005 you can see the worse album covers of all time and sure enough Freddie is there. Also, look to discover the thing that is Heino, from Germany. thats a fun discovery. Thanks Freddie for having no friends.
Posted by: rather at April 28, 2005 09:37 AMI couldn't help but notice the record label looks a little homo.
Posted by: Tim Kohtz at May 22, 2005 11:53 AMWhen i was young i was into drugs and homosexuality, one day i was shown the way of the lord and his divine grace, now i masturbate to this album all the time and i ejaculate onto the pages of the bible
Posted by: wally at July 19, 2005 11:33 PMthe record label looks like it prefers other record labels?
Posted by: nautimous at July 19, 2005 11:38 PMYou should check out an album by Luis Torres. Do a search. The album cover almost rivals this for pure hilarity. It's title? "Was Addicted To Drugs...Now Addicted To God"
Posted by: Jimbob at October 27, 2005 03:00 PMAll my friends are dead eh Freddie???
I would like him to come round to my house and preach his God based nonsense to me so I could eventually fry his mind with the by-product of 13 years worth of enforced Catholic education.
We loved God that much at school, he could have it in either English or Latin.
He would be so sick of me and my biblical quotes when he runs out of my house screaming and clawing at his bible that he would wish he was joining his dead friends pushing daisies.
People like Freddie and the hundreds of thousands of preachers are little more than charaltans ebezzling money out of gullible people on a weekly basis, promising them a better life when they die - most of which then gets spent on paying off underage girls and boys they have tampered with.
Alright, I dare say he has 'saved' a few people from being homosexual - so what?? I will put money on the fact that they may be straight now, but I bet they are miserable.
I did 'drugs'.....so what? Enjoy yourself!!!!
Genisis - 'I have given you all the plants and herbs to use' (sorry can't remember the chapter etc)
Anyway, I think that Freddies is by far the greatest worst album cover in the world!
Has anyone seen the 'karatist preacher' it is a gem!
i've seen the karate preacher album, but where can i get freddie's sermon on lp?
Posted by: michael at April 25, 2006 03:57 PMWow... A snake handling, baptist preacher strangling little kids at a piza party. Christians have some fucked up sexual fantasies. Coming From a born-again upbringing I can really relate to the story of the nazi-esque piza party thing having been to a few when I was young. I have since given my life over to sin and I can totaly relate to getting turned on by strangling a consenting adult on a pizza or whatnot I leave god out of all things in my life. And I deffinetly cant condone an individual who lures kids to chuck e cheeze with the promise of fun and games and then busts a full on chub while throttling a child. Those of you who have anything good to say about a sick pervert like that should be ashamed. His is a disgrace to his faith, wich itsself is a disgrace against humanity. So that puts him in the same boat with Hitler, Bush and Michael Jackson.
Posted by: Dingus Mcgee at July 9, 2006 06:10 PMHe looks just like Terry Wogan from (UK) Radio 2!!!
Posted by: Roger Bruton at July 13, 2006 09:19 AMIt is almost funny how people are so scared of the truth that they will go to any length to dispute it and discredit it. We are all not worthy of being forgiven, yet we are, we only need to ask. Bragging about scriptural knowledge and not being able to remember which scripture you are using is only one example of how imperfect all of us are. Criminalizing people you don’t know is yet another tool to discredit the truth - by focusing on the imperfections of a person instead of what we need to focus on, Jesus. Only Jesus is perfect, He is the ONLY reason to believe that we can have a relationship with God. I don’t believe any of these stories because it is not the first time I have heard stories like this to discredit faith. The truth is we all fall short of the gift of forgiveness. To condemn Jesus on the acts of people is just an excuse to avoid the truth. The truth is that Jesus is alive and he loves each and every one of you. His word is so strong that it is the only word that has been firmly impacted in our history since the year 0. I can only hope that those who stumble across this page like I did will remember to stay focused on the truth, Jesus, and not the stories. If you really want to know Freddie Gage visit his site, freddiegage.org, and see for your self what he has accomplished. Write him, email him, and see if he answers you. I am willing to bet that he will.
Posted by: IT Brown at August 1, 2006 01:51 AMReligion is to people as sand is to the ostrich, and this guy is a whole beach worth of sand. I believe in god, or some sort of higher being, but religion is just a giant steaming pile of sand my friends, and the sand wants your money! and your brain. In short dont give money to brain hungry sand.
Posted by: Marky at August 11, 2006 08:46 AMFirst of all I would like to know where Freddie got his boots and tie from... I love his style and I want to know if HE is still alive or if he is in peace with his friends... wearing white trousers to go with his white tie, white shirt and white boots... Wicked!!!
Posted by: Jah-Rule at August 18, 2006 03:43 AMCunts, all of you
Posted by: Nick Dawson at July 27, 2007 11:27 AMCunts, all of you
Posted by: Nick Dawson at July 27, 2007 11:28 AMCunts, all of you
Posted by: Nick Dawson at July 27, 2007 11:30 AMCunts, all of you
Posted by: Nick Dawson at July 27, 2007 11:33 AMCunts, all of you
Posted by: Nick Dawson at July 27, 2007 11:36 AMI think ol' Nick is displeased with your "dissing" of Reverend Freddie.
But let's face it, if you're not fucked up then there's no reason for having an imaginary friend, but if you are then Jesus is s good substitute for drugs. Hell, why not?
Freddie does seem to be the type that says "Believe in my faith or I'll punch you in the faith" (Lenny Bruce - paraphrased).
Posted by: Kenn Bannerman at April 17, 2008 01:57 PM