Wired Mesh

You Call This Happy?

Today I was resolutely avoiding work by puttering around the web when I saw an exciting headline on Salon. "McDonald's to launch adult Happy Meals," it read.

Oh boy! I thought. I wasn't sure what an adult happy meal would be, but my mind reeled at the whimsical possibilities. Maybe McDonald's would reissue vintage toys like the plastic Bambi figures with the moveable legs, the toys I used to play with when I was seven. Maybe they would give out the cool toys with the dangerously detachable parts -- prizes that kids might swallow, but adults would simply play with at work. Maybe they'd give adults paper Happy Meal boxes in the shape of briefcases, but with pictures of the Hamburglar on the side. Oh boy!

Or maybe they'd team up with a fitness guru to make a package including "a salad, an exercise booklet and a pedometer meant to encourage walking." Maybe they'd ignore the chance to remind adults that being a grownup doesn't mean being dead, that childlike silliness can survive in a business suit, and instead give adults one more reminder that we're all going to die soon and we'd darn well better be responsible about our health.

Stupid clown.